Non-Wacky Items:

2004 PETA Chicken Chumps

A set of four Garbage Pail Kids style cards were put out by the psycho-extremists at PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) in 2004. 


Good Eatin' -- Chicken is now the number one dinner choice of Americans.

cruel kyle

Each and every chicken found in retail stores is inspected by the USDA or by a state system having standards equivalent to the Federal government.

sickly sally

Chicken is high in iron and protein, low in fat, and a good source of pantothenic acid, which plays a role in the release of energy for metabolism.

tubby tammy

Mike the Headless Chicken lived happily for 18 months and gained 6 lbs after losing his head to the axe.

feathered friends


Chicken Runs
By Bites


Garbage-pail kids: “Sally feels awful eating that poop-covered, germ-filled chicken sandwich.” That’s the message taken home last week by students from Isabelle Jackson Elementary School after a visit from the friendly neighborhood People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). The animal-rights group demonstrated outside the school after its principal opted not to take PETA up on its kind offer to treat kids to a “Hidden Lives of Chickens” presentation (which, come to think of it, couldn’t have been that much worse than LSD casualties ripping their eyes out in all those anti-drug educational films Bites was shown as a youngster).

And so it was, last Friday, that Isabelle Jackson kids were greeted by a PETA giant-chicken mascot bearing the hopeful sign “Chickens are friends not food,” while the organization’s vegan campaign coordinator, Ravi Chand, handed the kids trading cards featuring nice chickens and not-so-nice kids. Designed in the gross-out tradition of Garbage Pail Kids and Wacky Packages, PETA’s Chicken Chumps card series features grotesque caricatures of chicken-chomping brats: the ferociously flesh-eating Cruel Kyle, the Linda Blair-like Sickly Sally, and the endlessly endomorphic Tubby Tammy who “has to use a bungee cord for a belt” (as if Barbie and Britney weren’t already enough to make kids neurotic about their bodies).

According to a PETA flier, chickens are every bit as smart as cats and dogs. “Chickens show sophisticated social behavior,” explained UC Davis professor Joy Mench. “That’s what a pecking order is all about.”

PETA Claims They "Don't Target Children"

See PETA's Wacky Pack Stickers

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